The Sun Came Again


thought of ending it all more than once,
the bullying was forceful as a tide,
didn’t know how i was going to save myself
from splintering into grains of sand;

i didn’t know how to
stop the anger or the pain or how to see the light
when darkness rushed me from all angles—
just knew i was a burden to everyone i loved,
and i wanted to stop suffering;

i didn’t want them to have to sacrifice anything for me—
i didn’t want to be the biggest mistake of their lives,
so i was silent about my pain and my misery;

bullied at home and at school
it became unbearable—
i just wanted to crawl into the bones of someone who
was not me because i was sure no one else knew how this felt,
this sadness that saps you of your strength
and sprawls you into a tired
that makes you sleep for too long;

an anger that makes you spiral into brain fog,
a pain that feels as if it will rip you apart;

i cried out for better days—
eventually the sunlight came again,
and the moon reminded me of my beauty even when i was not whole.

-linda m. crate

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