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The Mystery Behind Self Harm

Person experiencing despair

Dear Reader,

Welcome and kudos. You are now part of a select group of people who want to understand, why someone would want to hurt themselves. Thank you for not immediately rushing to judgment. Even if you did, this blog post will hopefully be a step forward, in you making an effort to recognize the reason behind it.

Let me introduce some relevant details of my life to you, so that you have some basis of trusting me. I am a 26 year old female, and I have physically harmed myself. I am not ashamed of it. I was brought up in an atmosphere where we were aware of mental health and its issues. I always assumed that I am a mental health expert. But that was sadly not the case. I went through severe depression due to reasons not important right now. I was suicidal for a while as well. But then I discovered self harm.

I have three long horizontal scars on my left wrist. I used to attempt to hide them for a while, not because I was ashamed of it but because of the sheer ignorance and humor involved in the conversation whenever someone would discover the scar. “Aw, did your boyfriend dump you? Are you trying to get his attention?” (Loud Laughter). I’d always wanted to scream at those people, but then I realized, I had never asked myself why I do it?

It dawned on me that my emotional and mental pain was so much at that point, that the distraction of focusing on the physical pain was actually a relief. Sometimes, it was also a good way to have a physical manifestation of a pain that I could not understand or contain. At other times, it just felt like I would explode with all the emotions inside me and I needed to cut my flesh to let the steam out.

There are several other reasons why someone would harm themselves. But this is my attempt to make you understand that there generally are reasons behind why someone is harming themselves, however stupid they might sound to you. So maybe the next time you see a self harm scar on someone, stop and ask that person if they’re okay, and if you can help in anyway. We appreciate, when you understand that the scar is self inflicted, so we don’t have to make up some absurd reason or hide it.

 

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